Luke: "Relax, guys... it's just my Dad."
After totally shaving Chewbacca, Luke cherished
every moment of Han and Leia's reactions.
Comedic science has concluded that captions
can not improve upon Mark Hamill's expression.
Reactions vary after our intrepid trio is told
they won't be needed for Episodes I, II, or III.
"What?!!! Soylent green is people?!!!"
"Him! He's the one making all the kissing noises!"
"The back of your dress just went that way!"
"Smile... you're on Candid Holocam!"
"Watch how I can make the boom operator
choke by using my Jedi powers."
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."
"Alright, I want a clean fight. No blasters. No lightsabers.
And no hitting below the utility belt. Capiche?"
"Listen up, guys... if you don't start getting along,
I'll turn this Death Star right around..."
"Okay, this is good... now we're getting somewhere.
Now Han, when you call Luke shorty,
how do you think that makes him feel?"
During the finals of the first annual Star Wars Stare Down Contest,
the special guest referee was none other than George Lucas himself.
"Ooooo! He triple dog dared you!"
"What do you mean he gets to be Indiana Jones?"
"How about we write your names inside
the helmets so this doesn't happen again?
"Yeah? Well, my dad can beat up your dad!"
"Tell Carrie that next tribal council, we're voting George
off the set. I'm sick of him telling us what to do."
The Phantom Menace To Society
"Master Qui-Gon sir, meesa thinks youssa been had by the Jawas.
Theesa fake Oakleys."
Yoda first discovered Qui-Gon Jinn in a Guns 'n' Roses tribute band.
"No, no... I'm his twin brother Ray-Ban Jinn."
"I don't know, George... I think this blind Jedi gimmick
is a bit too Rutger Hauer."
As expected, Kid Rock did not age too well.
This is the only thing Qui-Gon could buy from
Wattoo with Republic credits in Tatooine.
"Where'd I put that cup of pencils?"
That 70's Show
If Frank Capra had directed Star Wars.
CLASS OF 77 RUUULZ!!!
It wasn't until they landed on top of the
Wicked Witch that the movie became colorized.
"Everybody say... franchise!"
Unfortunately, with his new collagen implant,
Chewie is unable to smile for the publicity photo.
A&E Biography Presents: The Galactic Rat Pack
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
Mentos, the freshmaker.
With director of choreography Nick Gillard at the helm,
rehearsal of Ani Get Your Gungan: The Musical went into full swing.
"Remember, when confronted by a real life Sith Lord
make yourself as big as possible."
"No, no... you got the M, C and A, but the Y is like this!"
"Nick, how big is this movie going to be again?"
As is customary, Nick lets the rookie get his 'one free shot'.
"Here comes the tickle monster! Gonna tickle you silly..."
"We're kinda like the Jackson Five, but in reverse."
"Remember kids, only you can prevent Death Star explosions."
"They're doing that rabbit ear thing again, aren't they? AARRGH!!!"
"Uncle Vader wants YOU for the Imperial Stormtroopers!"
"I see a little silhoutte-a of a man...
scaramouche, scaramouche...
will you do the fan-dang-go..."
"I'm not just the president of the Mask Club for Ugly Men,
I'm also a client."
The pointlessness of full scale stop motion photography.
"No, no, no... it's righty tighty and lefty loosey!"
"I keep pushing on his head but there is still no Pez..."
"Are you sure the box said ages 3 and above??"
"I ain't no Tamagotchi!"
"Aha! Just as I expected... he is all chocolate under the gold foil!"
"Not me, you idiots! The Death Star plans are inside the other droid!"
After being stranded in the Tunisian Sahara with no food for six weeks
they decided to eat the robot first.
"Hey baby, now that your boyfriend's a coffee table..."
"I swear these aren't your curtains!"
"Jeez, it smells like ham in here!"
"Lando mostly employs us so no one threatens
his 'best-looking man on Bespin' status."
"Bachelor number two, if I were frozen in carbonite,
what would you do to light up my fire?"
"Excuse me, but shouldn't there be seven of you?"
"No, I said I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!"
"Okay, so which one of you built your house out of bricks?"
"Here's your problem! You've got an R2 unit
stuck in your cold-air intake valve."
Bob reminded himself every day that even though
he wasn't a brash young Rebel pilot, those guys
never got to use the droid suction thingy.
"Umm... can we shoot the scene with this on? It's stuck."
"Now Artoo, you just sit tight and let the perm set okay, sweetie?"